I don’t think I have ever experienced a longer or scarier 15 minutes in my ENTIRE life! I sat in a tiny room, with three of the most beautiful girls in the world, who just got their fingers pricked to see if they were HIV+. It had been a long 24 hours of waiting rooms, blood tests, x-rays, TB tests, IVs and finally the HIV tests. And today was the day that I had to hold down the girls one-by-one as they got their tiny fingers pricked.

The little blood that came out was going to potentially change their lives forever, AND change mine. I had seen people with HIV before, I know kids who have it, but never have I sat in this room before. Never have I had to hold down 3 little girls with all my might, while kissing their faces and telling them I love them and it will be over soon. I have NEVER been in this position before, and as I sat there waiting for the results, my knees were shaking, my stomach was full of butterflies and my eyes were beginning to fill up with tears.

I could not change the results of the tests. No matter how long I stared at the 3 ticking timers, I was not going to change what would happen after the timers went “DING”. I sat in that chair, rocking the two youngest in my lap, and blowing kisses to the oldest, and all I could do was pray and think about these words that I heard about a month ago…

“Jesus does not ask that we care for the less fortunate, He demands it. When calling ourselves Christ-followers, caring for orphans and the desolate and the widow are not an option, it’s a requirement.”

These words were playing over and over and over in my head. As I thought of the possibility of Sinsua (5 yrs old), ǂKhitani (4 yrs old), Pinky (3 yrs old) and their baby brother (8 mo) being positive, I could not stop thinking about these words. The Lord has called me to this. He did not politely ask me to kiss these 4 foreheads and love them to pieces, He demanded me to. These are HIS babies and He has told me to share His love to them! Because Jesus has a special place in His heart for these angels, I too should have a special place for them.

During those 15 minutes I thought about the first time I saw these 3 girls a week ago. They were dirty, hungry, sick and lonely. They did not have their own clothes, panties or shoes. Their heads were full of sores and white from being so dry. Pinky, who looks 1 but is really 3, didn’t have any diapers and was not potty trained. A part of me did not want to pick her up because of the rashes on her face, the dirty t-shirt she was wearing and the bare bottom she was rockin’. But her sweet face, precious under-bite and tiny tongue that sticks out when she laughs, quickly won me over. Next thing I knew, I could not let her down. The older two’s beauty, sweet personality and the way they care for their baby sister also won me over. These three girls quickly stole my heart!

I thought about the day we brought the girls home with us, last Saturday, and how they were so quiet and not sure what to do. But they finally warmed up to us and began acting like normal little girls. The first time we gave them baths they were not sure what to think of us, but that was the first time we began to see smiles. I thought about how they must of thought these 4 white ladies were crazy for un-braiding their hair (in the tub which is not a good idea) because they had just gotten them done that morning (we had no idea). I thought about each of their unique personalities…

Sinsua is sweet, but also has a little bit of a rebel side. She likes to see how much she can get away with before she gets in trouble. And when she does get in trouble, she makes you want to just love on her and never get on to her again. She is so funny when she plays dolls, she seriously treats the American Girl doll like a real baby. She wraps her around her back like the African women do, and she braids her hair over and over. That doll may not have any hair left by the time Sinsua is done playing with her.

ǂKhitani is so gentle, she is the most shy out of the 3 and she loves things to be in order. She is very sensitive and HATES being pricked with needles! No matter if she goes to the bathroom in the morning, afternoon or middle of the night, she always makes this “brrrrrrrrrrr” sound when she dries her hands. She has seriously made me laugh at 4am in the morning because of this sound that she HAS to make, as if her hands would not get dry if she didn’t.

Pinky is the crazy, loud, hilarious one. She steals your heart in a minute and then tries to bite you. She is the definition of a “picker”. She picks at her scabs, your scabs, your nose and even your moles. I have been in serious pain because of those little fingernails. She is tiny, but can eat more than I do! She goes crazy when she sees food and even when she is eating her own, she wants everyone else’s food as well.

During those 15 minutes I thought about their baby brother (who we found out about later) laying in the baby ward, hooked up to an IV because he was so malnourished. I thought about the wrinkles his skin made because he is literally made up of flesh and bone. I thought about the way he lights up when he sees Pinky’s face. I thought about the day I met him and how he reeked of urine and was covered in filthy clothes. I thought about how he was going to have to take the same tests as his sisters and there was going to be a waiting period for his results as well. I thought about what would’ve happened if he didn’t come and stay with us.

My mind went crazy during those 15 minutes. I couldn’t help but think about how my life had changed so drastically in one week. I had no idea what I would do at the end of those 15 minutes if the man said they were positive. My heart would break. Then, all of a sudden… “DING”. The results were ready and I heard the man say, “They are all okay.” I was overcome with relief! PRAISE THE LORD!

I am so grateful that the Lord was there during those entire 15 minutes. He has been there for their entire life and will continue to be there, loving them! He is the Father of the fatherless. And like John 14 says “I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.” He will not leave or forsake these 4 babies. He has had them in His hands the entire time. Of course I am so glad that they are negative, but if they were positive this truth that the Lord will not leave them, would still be true. There is nothing better than that.

“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” James 1:27

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